Uncategorized

the failed cover letter

A few months ago I applied for a job I knew I had no chance of getting, but I went for it anyway. My low expectations were well thought out, and meant I was not disappointed in any way. Here’s a terrible cover letter a used in my application.

As you can see from my resume, I have very little experiance and no degree. I have Kanye to thank, in part, for that. See ‘The Collage Dropout’ lead me to believe you could get anywhere in life without a degree. I was once talking about this in class in reference to myself, when a teacher jumped in and said only “creative types” could get away with not having a degree while having a career.

I also have myself to thank for why I currently don’t have a degree. While I was meant to be studying in the final years of school, I was too busy focusing on what was happening in the entertainment world.

TRUE STORY: One time while on Twitter in class I broke the “news” that Josh from ‘Big Brother’ 2012 would be leaving due to his brothers death. I was so proud of myself at the time.

No degree aside, I feel like I would be a perfect fit for the job of Staff Writer at Buzzfeed. I’m young, and would never fit the typical mould of a journalism student, just as Buzzfeed doesn’t fit the mould of your typical website. I feel like I have a knowledge and grasp on pop culture that others my age wouldn’t (knowledge is important as time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. If knowledge comes after time, money and PIZZA it must be important. Lastly I believe that I am highly motivated to get results and get things done. As someone who has posted content online for the last two years with varying degrees of success, I know how it feels like not get the views or clicks you were hoping for. Every time this has happened, I’d pick myself up and try harder next time.

Lastly I’d like you to know I realise there is a very slim chance of me getting this job. To quote Jeff Probst: “(Contestant) has 0.00% of winning this game”. He has said this a fair few times before a season of ‘Survivor’ will start in interviews to press. The funny thing is a few times the people he thinks have no chance, have so much determination that they win the game. Maybe that will be me. The one that nobody expects to achieve anything gets to accomplish great?

I’ll end this letter with that reference to the greatest reality television show of all time, and with myself thanking you for even giving this letter any of your time.

Karl Stefanovic fought for feminism last year, but now want’s all guys to “man up”!

Last year Karl Stefanovic was applauded when he revealed he had worn the same suit for the majority of a year to point out the sexism between men and woman on our screens. And while this was no ground breaking revelation, it’s clear as day that women are judged on appearance, it was still good of him to shine a light on the issue. Fast forward a few months, and Stefanovic finds it okay to judge and critic other men?

He claims that men, specifically Australian men, have gone soft, and that he want’s to bring back the ‘bloke’.

“I think they’ve gone soft. I think they’re confused. I think their idols, a lot of whom are only in their twenties, are confused and male identity is being watered down”

That’s bad enough, but it gets worse.

“If I see another shaved chest I’m gonna flip out.”

WHAT? Doesn’t this go against what you were fighting for last year? You were sick of people judging Lisa Wilkinson for what she was wearing, but it’s okay for you to be offended because someone else wants to shave their chest?

“I lament that down the pub these days guys are drinking Vodka Cruisers – I mean, watermelon Cruisers? Give me a break.”

No Karl, give me a break. If I wanna drink a watermelon Crusier, I’m going to do it, because I shouldn’t be conforming to what you would like all guys to be doing.

Young males are being taught that they should do what they want to do, not what all the other guys are doing. That doesn’t make them less of a man, it just means they’re smart enough to do something they enjoy, instead of painfully doing something they hate.

With so much progress made in the last year on this issue, this is only a step backwards, and it is no surprise it comes from someone like you, born into a generation where men kept in their feelings because apparently men aren’t meant to have feelings? That method of living can have dire results, which is why organistations like Beyond Blue are around.

I promise you this Karl, next time I have a “girly” drink (which may be a while away due to my realisiton of Australia’s problem in over indulgence of alcohol, but that is a whole other topic) I‘ll be thinking of you, and how there are less and less of people with the view points of yours still around, and thank god for that.

TV Couples on Valentine’s Day

Alone this Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, I’m listing my top TV couples, so you can spend the day watching their romance on screen instead of having one yourself.

Ross and Rachel, Friends (1994-2004) – Ross and Rachel’s relationship has become such a part of pop culture, that other shows look at their characters relationships, and how much they want to “Ross and Rachel it”. In a sense, how far can we drag this out before they get together. Because that’s what David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston’s characters were all about. Everyone could see from the start that they were meant to be, and I think everyone could relate to Ross being “friend-zoned”. After ten years of ons and offs, they finally got together for good, because as Phoebe put it, ‘she’s his lobster”.

NBC

NBC

(more…)

My love for THE GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY – Part 1

I’ve been a fan of Star Wars for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure if I saw A New Hope or The Phantom Menace first, but if it was TPM first, ANH wouldn’t of been far after. I would of been five around that time, and my parents started buying me the toys for the first prequel film, to go along with my Dad’s original trilogy toys from Kenner (you know the ones with a lightsaber coming out of Luke and Darth’s hand).

What followed was buying even more of the toys by the time Attack of the Clones rolled around, and also getting more merch like books and video games. I remember AOTC was one of the first big action blockbuster films I saw at the cinemas, and walking into Revenge of the Sith, I thought it would be the last time seeing a Star Wars film, for the first time.

(more…)

Australian’s are the biggest downloaders in the world, and our media outlets are partially to blame

Pirate Bay was taken down during raids in Sweden this week, but the site has already resurfaced. If new laws are imposed in Australia, it may be taken away from us again, this time for good. Although today Communications Minster Malcolm Turnbull warned journalist’s to not report the reforms as an “internet filter”, that is exactly what it is. Turnbull’s plan is for internet providers to block any site that illegal downloads can be obtained, and that downloaders would be formally warned about any online copyright breaches.

Before I go any further, I want you to know that I understand why P2P (Peer-to-peer) is such a bad thing. In fact I used to be totally against it, for ethical reasons and what not. But over the years I will admit to having used websites like The Pirate Bay, as many other Australian’s have. Lately I have been wondering why so many of us do this, and I realised a major reason why. Australia is getting such a raw deal so often, that many are being driven to download due to no better options. There are many examples of this happening.

This year Australia played a major part in Game of Thrones becoming the most illegally-downloaded show in history. It’s no surprise, due to the fact that the popular drama is only available on a paid Foxtel subscription. After the shows penultimate episode of season three in 2013, all anyone was talking about was the “Red Wedding”, leading to a lot of people who hadn’t seen the show, want to be in on the conversations that were happening every week the day after the show had aired. At that time they were able to watch the first three seasons on dvd. Come to April this year, and the show had a massive increase in a fan base, but anyone who didn’t have Foxtel, had only one other way to see the show, and that was online. People couldn’t even pay to watch the show on iTunes, like they had done during the first three seasons, due to Foxtel wanting the show exclusively with them. The move to make more money, only pushed people, who were happy to pay for episodes on iTunes, to illegally download the show.

Foxtel isn’t the only place where viewers are being treated with contempt. Free to air stations love to tell you how many shows they are fast tracking this year. But only some shows isn’t enough. A major part of the problem is that America, where a lot of the television content that Australian’s consume, runs their TV shows from September/October to May of the year after. In Australia, the networks prefer to have a majority of their best content stacked when we start of our TV season, which is in February. Back in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, they could get away with keeping a show to play until Febuary, when it had been playing from September the year before, because nobody knew any better. In this social media age, things have changed, but the practices of TV stations haven’t.

Revenge is a prime example of this. This show is now in its fourth season, and has a decent fan base. But year after year Seven holds onto to it until “after the tennis”. And what do you think has happened. Slowly ratings for the show in Australia has dropped off. Not because people don’t like it anymore, but because they can’t wait five months without potentially seeing a spoiler posted on social media.

Not only do they take forever to show some of my favourite shows, but when they do get around to it, they put it on late at night and are forever changing the time slot, pulling shows whenever they feel like it for something else. Viewers are constantly trying to keep up with networks changing their minds at the last second on the nights line up of shows. Not even EPG’s know whats going on.

So we get it right, television in Australia is a mess, and there is no doubt that it’s a major factor in the large number of downloads. The movie industry is no better. First of all the cost of going to the movies is beyond crazy. Even if you wanted to wait to watch it at home and grab it in the stores, you won’t be doing it cheap. I like to experience movies the best way possible, at the moment that means on Blu-Ray. Even though it’s been reported it cost the same for manufactures to make DVD’s and Blu-Ray’s, every Blu-Ray is around $5 more expensive that DVD’s. If you’re looking to experience the film in 3D in your living room, you will be looking at $50 a film.

Another major problem, just like with TV shows, is movies are still coming to Australian screens months latter. I would really love to know why? When a film in released in the states, it should be shown the next possible Thursday here. Birdman staring Michael Keaton, which already has been getting a lot of Oscar buzz, was released in America mid-October. Australian viewers can pay for an overpriced ticket to see the film on the 15th of January next year. That’s one long wait, if you’re interested in seeing the film. In the mean time you can bet your bottom dollar that there will be a torrent online long before January 15th rolls around. That’s not the only film on delay. Disney’s musical-fantasy with an ensemble cast featuring Meryl Streep and Anna Kendrick will be shown in cinemas Christmas Day in America, which made me think it would be a perfect film to see on Boxing Day, but nope, we don’t get to see it until Jan 8th. Yes, that is a shorter break that Birdman, but why not just release it on Boxing Day, a day where many families are going to the movies.

So while downloading instead of paying for things is bad for the industry, the industry needs to take a look at its self first, before they start pointing the finger.

Quotes

For a while now I’ve had a few inspirational quotes stored in the notes on my phone. The only time I really look at them, is when I’m without Wi-Fi or a 3G connection, so boredom kicks in and I go through things that don’t require the internet. Once again this week, for a day, I was without the internet, and it got me thinking about the quotes that I had kept for a while now. These days, every second post on tumblr is a quote, whether it be from a celebrity, or just a saying that has stuck over time. So since I’m always seeing words of wisdom, I forget to acknowledge, and appreciate them. Just like if you worked in a art gallery, you might forget your surroundings and the amazing artworks on the walls. I decided to fix this dilemma by starting a notebook filled with quotes. And I couldn’t think of a better cover for my “book of quotes” than The Beatles crossing Abbey Road.

photo

(more…)