I Still Haven’t Found





I Started watching this crazy show called Parks and Recreation this year. At first I didn’t know what to think about it. Was it really funny, or did I just want to feel that way because its lead star is a former SNL cast member. By the end of the second season, which I might not of brought at all if the first one wasn’t so short, I knew for sure it was funny. So I began to quickly burn through the episodes to catch up to where the show currently is at. By binge watching the show, I very much fell into the world of the characters.

Earlier this year when Robin Williams died, I had a friend, who like many enjoyed Williams talent as an entertainer, say that he was saddened by the actors death, and how he didn’t realise how you could feel that way for someone you had never met. But this holds true for fictional characters as well, though to a lesser degree. I mean who wouldn’t be emotional when Andy and April got married after three weeks of dating.

What I want to say is yes real life stuff is important, but the life of the people on screen, and the people behind the characters, can be just as important for some of us.

take your head out of the mud baby

Currently listening to Viva La Vida Or Death And All Of His Friends by Coldplay. Formally known as Viva La Vida, but to sound as pretentious as possible I use the full title most of the time. I’m about half way through track four, “42”. I say half way, but it is hard to tell without looking on iTunes, as this is a crazy song with no chorus. Instead the song has three distinctive parts. It would of made a much better single that “Strawberry Swing”.

Today I was constantly stopping and starting music, trying to find a new album to listen to. I was in need of something new, but I ended up here, with something much familiar. I stuck with it because it was upbeat. December has always been an upbeat time, I think knowing that school would be over for a little while was a major reason. The warm weather is also a factor.

The albums now up to track seven. I kind of went back to twitter in between that paragraph. “Viva La Vida” (the song not the album) is such a sucky song for me because it was overplayed a lot on radio, in a time when I listened to radio a lot more than I do today.

What have I even written? I spent the last 200 words talking about Coldplay. Why? I’m not sure. I felt like I had done nothing with my day, so I thought if I wrote something, it might be better than nothing. I’ve been doing a lot of nothing lately. I think soon I will be doing more.


If I had to think about the possible hardest moment of my short life so far, it would have to be around this time last year, waking up to the text of my final school results.

I knew that my ATAR wasn’t going to be pretty, and I told myself that I didn’t care, and that I was going to be fine, but seeing the number was painful. I think it was something like a 37.55.

Look it only took a day or so to get over it, and move on (and I have most definitely moved on), but it was a full day of people asking, me not wanting anyone to know, and figuring out what my next move is.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, seeing the score. There is nothing you can do to change it, but a lot of people are left to wonder how they will now go about the following year. And everyone’s situation is different, which makes it even worse when you didn’t go as well as you thought, and everyone else is celebrating.