Something people would always say about others in high school is that they’ve changed. Like no shit. Nobody is going to be the exact same person they were when they were thirteen if they are now eighteen. But why do people say, “you’ve changed”, like it’s a bad thing. Growth in personality is good. I guess I’ve been thinking about this lately because of how much I have changed. I’m a totally different me than I was when I first started high school. But at the same time, the core of me still remains. It’s strange and I don’t even know what I’m trying to explain here, but never be afraid to explore another part of yourself, in fear of judgement for change. Change always comes whether you want it or not.
Last month I had to endure a lot of questioning about my future. One would think that half way through the year, I would have a clue. I don’t. I know as much as Jon Snow, which is nothing. Okay nothing is an over statement. I know somethings. But something isn’t a good answer to the question of what I will be doing next year and beyond. Something can be good enough for me though. Why stress about the things that are out of your control. Just enjoy today. The thing that makes all the questions so hard, is that I know what I want to happen. I just don’t want to share it with you yet. Does anyone like surprises.
I think it was around a year ago that I gave up on VCE. By “gave up”, I don’t mean not attending classes or not even trying. I still put in effort. But I realised that what ever would come from exam results, that I wouldn’t receive until December, everything would be okay. I remember one Saturday night in June I went and saw Fast and Furious 6 (or as I refer to it “Furious 6”), and after came home to discover a new show called The Fosters. While other people were out partying, I just wanted to live a life that revolved around pop culture. I guess now I’m just reminding myself of what I really want to do, and no matter how hard it will be, I get there.
While I felt good about knowing there would be a post credits scene at the end of X-Men: Days of Future Past, they make me, in a strange way, nervous. My two movie companions both turned to me at the end of the film and asked whether there would be anything else. I told them we should wait, and luckily a short scene did indeed appear to set up X-Men: Apocalypse, but imagine if I was wrong (though that doesn’t happen often).
As it is know common knowledge that Marvel films will have a mid credits or post credits scene, imagine sitting there while watching say Iron Man 4 (it’s bound to happen) and you wait through the whole credits for nothing. What a kick in the guts that would be. Maybe they could put them no more than 30 seconds after the credits start, but then more people would see it and it would be less special. So after all Hollywood, don’t listen to me.
Over the past couple of months while catching up with friends from my past, I’ve been asked one same question multiple times:
“Don’t you get bored”
The answer is no. How could I be. While I’ve been trying some things out this year (vlogging, writing and podcasting) to see if I have a future at all, I simply enjoy some of the days being engrossed in pop culture. So for the people wondering, here are a few things that have kept me sane:
-Discovered the X-Men films (only took me fourteen years) and decided once and for all that I am team Marvel, not DC.
-Finally finished reading A Game Of Thrones. (RIP Ned)
-Was able to spend so much time watching my beloved Survivor, and got more involved in the fandom.
-Read more often. I know that’s a pretty simple one, but you can learn from reading right? I learn’t a lot from Twitter for Dummies, that’s how I have 700 twitter followers. Not really, I mean I DO have 700 twitter followers (bragging much), but I do feel sorry for anyone who paid money for a book like that.
-Attempted to be a sporty spice. Does Wii Fit count as exercise?
I remember people telling me about the change going from high school to University, in regards to how there is so little structure in your life. If that was a big change for people, then it doesn’t get any bigger than high school every week for six years, to nothing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m currently loving my life and year off, but waking up and being able to do anything is awesome and scary at the same time. It’s awesome that I am able to spend a whole day reading The Walking Dead comics and re watching old Survivor episodes. It’s scary how I can spend a whole day doing nothing. Literally nothing. So while high school was such a effort to get through, it really was safety behind bars.
“Probably won’t make no money off this, oh well”
It’s currently 1.23 A.M, and although I’ve had a productive night, it feels as though my year so far has not been. I spent the last few hours of New Year’s Eve 2013, thinking of how I could further my life in 2014. And instead of actually doing those things, it feels like I’ve spent more time thinking about them. It has all come down to time. With a terrible sleeping pattern, and some odd working hours, some days disappear into thin air without me even realizing. The sleeping pattern is fixable but the annoying working hours are not. This has me thinking more about how I can change this problem of mine, to dream just as big, but to accomplish more. And I’ve came to the conclusion that I need more focus on me, from now on. That sounds terribly self centered doesn’t it? But it’s true. I don’t want to look back on this year as a waste of time. I guess I can class the first odd 120 days of the year as my “Gap Year”, and from the month of May onwards I can call this “my year”. I guess I’m putting this here as a public reminder for myself, to grow a bigger profile, and spend my time doing things I want to be doing, not things I should be doing. Now I’m off to bed to watch some 30 Rock (Season 2 Episode 5 – “Greenzo”, such a classic featuring David Schwimmer), and if I feel inspired afterwards I might read some of George R R Martin’s A Game Of Thrones (I’m finally more than half way through, and just like Season One, it’s now starting to get interesting. Side note: I always enjoy debating with myself where Varys true allegiance is with).
At first it sounded crazy. Send out a tweet (which those who don’t have twitter would think of as a status update), but you can can only use 140 characters. I used to struggle with it, purposely making grammatical errors, just to fit what I wanted to say into one tweet. These days I have the same problem, but I have also uncounted another.
I have become so used to writing in tiny portions, I am finding it increasingly harder to write anything more. Both Annie Barrett, formerly from Entertainment Weekly, and Carina Adly Mackenzie, formerly from Zap2It, have noted they also can struggle to write anything longer than a tweet on their respective new sites.
Many who use twitter don’t even write in full sentences, instead opting to post a short statement, made up of as few words as possible. When watching television shows, many will tweet along their reaction with a handful of words per tweet. Even I struggle when recapping Survivor, to pass one thousand words, and it’s all due to twitter. So I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to write in a longer format more often. And not just focusing on pop culture. When ever I feel the need to put out a series of tweets, I will try my best to expand them here.