I was thrilled to have Lulu Wang’s The Farewell screened at Uni today for a Global Cinema unit. 

Four years ago I went to the cinema on my own (for the first time) to see The Farewell. It had great reviews and a hot new star in Awkwafina.

That Monday I knew my Grandma hadn’t been doing too well, and while the film was emotionally draining at times, it prepared me for the next few days I was about to have. While death was kept a secret from Nai Nai, my Grandma was the one to bring it up herself. 

During the awkward silence of sitting by her bed the next day, she looked at my Sister and I and declared, “I’m dying” in a sing-song voice. Was it her attempt at breaking the ice? Did she want to talk about it? I’m not sure. And how does one even respond to someone they love saying that? All I could muster in response was “We don’t know that for sure”. But I did know.

She even asked me if there were any films I’d seen lately. Going to the cinemas was something she always loved and something we could do together. In the 2017-19 period that she was close by to us in Melbourne, the Disney live action remakes were big hits with Grandma. It was perfect since we had watched the animated classics when I was a kid. Dunkirk, Murder on the Orient Express, and Mary Poppins Returns appealed to her older sensibilities. Grandma’s review of Star Wars The Force Awakens was “there were so many ships wizz banging around” and “how did Harrison Ford get so old”. She had a good ten years on Ford. Is it in human nature for each of us not to want to accept getting older?

Anyway I didn’t tell her about the film. That’s one of the few things I miss. I have so many amazing memories with her, and have no regrets unlike so many have with people they are close to, after they pass away. But I wish I could share more films with her. Greta Gerwig’s Little Woman was released a few months later, and all I could think was that she would have loved this. We probably would have heard her tell us about the Elizabeth Taylor adaptation she had watched when younger a good twenty times afterwards, as she would repeat herself often in those last years, but I would have ate up hearing her joy of the silver screen.

Doreen Grace passed away four days after I first viewed The Farewell on the 19th of September. She went faster than the nurses had expected based on similar illnesses at the retirement home. Grandma had lived life to the fullest, and when there was nothing more to be done, she was out of here. When we would take her on outings she would be ready to zip out of there with her walker and that’s what it felt like.

At the start of all my screen studies units I always look at the weekly screenings and quickly realised The Farewell was planned for week 7, and would be mid September. I was then more shocked when I figured out it would be on the exact same date. So today at Uni was perfect. I got to watch one of my favourite films with a communal audience. There honestly isn’t anything better.

Lulu Wang has been praised for how The Farewell touches on a universal moment that most people will have to go through. While there were some sniffles in the lecture hall during the third act, I’m sure we all went home thinking of the special people in our lives.